Four Tips on Figuring out Self-Worth From Someone Who Doesn't Quite Have It Figured Out:

Updated: Jan 20, 2020

"When she wasn't happy, she couldn't work."

- Quote from a recent episode of The Wing's No Man's Land podcast about Sylvia Plath

"Being free is when you reveal your true self and get closer to becoming your most authentic self."

Tips on Figuring out Self-Worth:

Here’s what I’ve learned about cultivating self-worth — it’s pretty hard. You might know how to do it, you might feel like self-care is something you should do for yourself, but there is still a whole lot of deep dark muck you’ve got to wade through in order to really know your worth. I’ve also learned this is a practice, which means you’re never really done. You can work your whole life to perfect your craft, but there is ALWAYS room for improvement. So here we go, as a recovering codependent who struggles with anxiety + depression and has used self-harm as a coping mechanism, I am bringing you some knowledge I’ve gained in nearly 29 years of life that might help you as you navigate your own practice. 

1. You’re already whole. You already have everything you need. You have already made it. You don’t need another person, or job, or more money, or less weight or anything at all to be 100% you and that’s 100% great. To be honest, this is an empowering thing to know but it’s even better when you really feel it. I’m still working on that part, but that’s really the point of life. We aren’t meant to obtain material wealth, achieve some standard of beauty, or find fame — we are just meant to become our most authentic, badass selves which comes from radical self-love and self-acceptance.

2. Embrace the yucky stuff, it’s there for a reason. In the last year I’ve lost a lot — a relationship, a friendship, my sweet dog, and a lot of money. Each of these losses felt immense, difficult, and dark (still do, actually, and I’ll probably never get over the death of my doggo) but the benefit of losing everything that gives you external validation is that it forces you to see what’s left — which is your own worth + the community supporting you.

3. Freedom is fleeting, so make the most of it. It’s easy to forget that the season of life you’re in right now won’t last forever. My life looks a lot different than I thought it would 10 years ago. Even 6 months ago I couldn’t have predicted that I’d be running a non-profit art collective. Being free to pursue your interests is so really cool. Being free to dive deep into yourself and clear out the stagnant programming you’ve had running your whole life is liberating. Being free is when you reveal your true self and get closer to becoming your most authentic self. Freedom in life expands and contracts, so be grateful for it when it shows up even if it happens in unexpected and inopportune ways. 

4. Figure out what you believe in. I neglected my spiritual wellness way too long. I had no idea what I believed in and it made life really hard. I’m not going to suggest that you follow a specific religion or spiritual path, rather figure out what you believe in and start cultivating a relationship with your higher power. Even in the darkest, most lonely times the Universe/God/whatever you believe in will still show up for you. You just have to ask for help. You might not get exactly what you want, but you’ll definitely get what’s necessary. 

Knowing these things doesn’t make life easier. It doesn’t make the unexpected stuff hurt any less, but it does make it a little more manageable to move through life in a way that prioritizes your own existence. So here’s to 2019, we got this. 

Written by Claire from the Broad Room -

About the Broad Room: We are a non-profit art collective in Sacramento, CA that serves the woman's creative community.

Learn more about the broad room here:

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